A Lesson in Gratitude, Part 1

I need to start writing more. For real.

My summer is a little more than halfway gone, and there is about a month until I go back to school. Compared to last summer, minus still being unemployed, I'd have to say that it has been a good couple of months so far. Why? Well:

I've been hanging out with good friends on a semi-regular basis. Last summer, I saw my high school friends maybe five or six times the whole three months I was home. This summer, I hang out with one of my good friends almost every Wednesday. I have dinner dates with another friend at her place at least once a month, sometimes twice. Yesterday I had dinner with two of the girls from my usual circle, and I'm sure another dinner will be planned soon.

I've been to a lounge in Cambridge for open mics and poetry slams three times, went to the MFA once, went to the beach twice (albeit I didn't swim, but whatever), and I'm going to a cocktail party next week. I went to a wedding in Connecticut with my sister last month, I'm (hopefully) going to a Maroon 5 concert next month, and might even have my roommate come visit me for a couple of days. So yeah, this summer is so much better than last summer.

But of course, I'm still unhappy.

I never realized how much I hate not working. This is the second summer I haven't had a job, and it's a little frustrating. It's not that I haven't been looking, because I have been. I was looking for internships and jobs in both fields I am studying (journalism and English) and had zero luck. That was a huge disappointment. I still have NNL (if you follow me on Twitter, you've probably heard me mention them more times than you care to count), but I don't get paid for that! I've recently started writing for Demand Studios again, and since I have so much free time, I really could make a decent amount of money with them. Enough to pay my phone bill, save some money to go to L.A. for my cousin's wedding in September, and pay for textbooks.

The funny thing is, I can't see myself having a traditional job. I guess growing up in this digital age, I just can't see myself doing office work or working in a corporate setting for the rest of my life. It's so contrary to who I am. Even though I haven't done much traveling, I know that I would love to visit other countries, or even the other side of THIS country. I love all things technology related, for the most part, I'm fascinated by complementary and alternative medicine, and I am a full supporter of tattoos and tattoo acceptance in the workplace. I know full well that my decision to get one on my wrist could possibly kill a lot of job prospects, but I was fortunate enough to work in a restaurant that was incredibly supportive of body art. I guess that spoiled me a little bit.

The point of this post - I keep getting depressed about what I don't have (a job, money) that I rarely stop to be grateful for the things I do have (great friends, the ability to work on my own schedule, and express myself for spoken word.) Yes, things could be better, but they could be worse. And that's just fine with me.

Reiki Challenge, Day 3 - Endeavor With Your Work

This principle is kind of a big one for me, simply because I've been back and forth with whether or not I feel comfortable enough to start teaching Reiki and doing readings again.

As has seemed to be the case since starting this challenge, I had an interesting dream last night that seemed to relate to this principle. Unfortunately, I was really struggling to wake up this morning, so I didn't get a chance to write it down. But what I do remember is being in a supermarket, where a lot of my dreams have taken place recently. The dream then switched to what I believe was a computer lab, and there was some sort of demon or evil person, and I was battling him/it with Reiki. I believe Jay, a friend of mine from Twitter, was there as well, and I was asking him to help me battle the... whatever.

OK, so what does this have to do with my principle for today?

Well, I looked up what supermarkets mean in dreams. Found a lot of answers that didn't seem quite right until I found this one:

Groceries offer an endless and tempting variety of things. To dream of being in a market means you are faced with tough choices, all of which look perfect and inviting. You are shopping not just for material things, but for things that relate to your emotional or social needs. You might be concerned of making the wrong choice in spending your money/attention/energy.


So what particularly caught my attention with this meaning was the variety of things that relate to my emotional or social needs, and being concerned about making the wrong choice in spending my money, attention, and/or energy. I've been debating lately if I want to make journalism my career, completely shutting out Reiki; doing Reiki full-time; combining the two. A friend suggested doing both, doing like a holistic magazine or whatever. My main fear has been that I will choose one over the other, and not be happy with my decision. Obviously, I still have time to think about it, but I feel like I need to make a decision now so I can start preparing for what will happen when two years goes by.

But because of the latter part of my dream, where I am clearly using Reiki (I know because I called it by name), and defeating this evil being (as far as I can tell), I feel like that is a sign telling me that doing Reiki in some form (teaching or just healing) is the way to go. I think the first part, where I am tempted by all the different products in the grocery store (and I think being chased, too, but I addressed that in an earlier post) was a reference to this indecision, but by the end of the dream, it was clear what choice I should make. I don't know, maybe not.

Other than all this dream business, the rest of what I have to say about this principle relates to school and whatever job I (hopefully) get this semester. Keep working hard, keep doing my best, it will all pay off. That's all that I can hope for.