It's been a long time/Realizations

I can't believe I haven't posted anything in almost 5 months. But I guess it's understandable considering my last submission was right before classes started for the spring semester. Everything after that has been so crazy. But I'm back with a new post, although I'm not sure there's any value in it, other than me realizing that I am in serious need of self-discovery.

One of the things that I've been noticing lately is that I really, really want to either practice or teach Reiki regularly. I want to write my own manual, but I'm not sure I have any knowledge or techniques that I can add that haven't been seen elsewhere. But I do realize that whenever I start feeling... useless, I guess, I remember how much I love Reiki, and how I wish I had either a clientele or some students. I think I definitely need more experience - and confidence - before I can take on the role of Reiki Teacher. Of course, in order to get that confidence and experience, I need clients! Talk about a vicious cycle. I think now would be a good time to reread my manuals and books and practice some of the techniques and maybe even make my own. Let's see how that turns out.

Another thing I'm realizing is that there have been a lot of little occurrences that seem to be speaking directly to my taking control of my life and having more faith that the Universe will provide for me. Case in point - a couple of weeks ago, I went into the bathroom and took a look at a soap bottle that had been there for awhile, but that I had never really paid attention to. I noticed something interesting - that the bottle had 444 mL. I knew the number had to mean something - especially since I had told my boyfriend that I needed a miracle. So what is the meaning for 444?

"Thousands of angels surround you at this moment, loving and supporting you. You have a very strong and clear connection with the angelic realm, and are an Earth angel yourself. You have nothing to fear—all is well."

Also:

"The angels are surrounding you now, reassuring you of their love and help. Don’t worry because the angels’ help is nearby."

That made me very happy, but I feel like I have since forgotten that message - until now. Everything happens for a reason... Today was a day of despair and desperation - I think my writing this post after so many months away is the Universe's way of reminding me that I have Divine help.

The other occurrence that happened that same day was a tweet by Gail Goodwin (@inspiremetoday). The tweet was:

"Dream incessantly-Believe completely-Act daily-Risk intuitively-Celebrate continually-Live gratefully"

It was just what I needed to hear at that particular moment in time but, again, I feel like I forgot about it until now. OK, so what does all this mean? Well...

1) I've been reevaluating my faith. A long time ago, when I first started this blog, I had taken a quiz on BeliefNet that said I most identified with Neo-Paganism. Totally true, so I think it's time to start putting some of those beliefs into practice. I think I need a connection with the God and Goddess now more than ever.

2) I need to stop playing the victim role. I've been getting so depressed about not finding a job/internship, thinking that maybe there's something wrong with me that the companies don't like, or that I don't have enough experience. Bull. I know that I know my stuff, and I know that I would be a huge asset to the company that is right for ME. I just haven't found it yet. I know that even though I do need the money, if I settle for something just because I have to pay the bills, I am going to be miserable. So I'll keep holding out until I find something that clicks. If it does end up being unpaid, I'll deal with it.

3) I need to utilize my support system. I have wonderful Twitter friends, Krystal (@whitelotus01), Alice (@ReikiAwakening) and Jay (@PsychicJay), among others that can help me figure out my Reiki thing (if they're not busy and don't mind, of course!) I think they might be part of my karass, a term from Kurt Vonnegut's Cat's Cradle that means "a group of people who, often unknowingly, are working together to do God's will," if such a thing exists beyond the fictional religion of Bokononism. I also have a supportive boyfriend and friends that are amazing for giving me that push when I wander from my path. I keep worrying about being a burden to them, but I know (or at least hope) that it's not true.

I'm sure there's more, but I feel like this post has gone on too long; however, it's my first in awhile, so I think I have a pass. If anything, I will write more as things come up which, considering the way things have been going lately, is more than likely to happen by the end of the day.

A Week Later...

I'm a little upset with myself for not finishing the Reiki Challenge the way I wanted to. I know I probably should have finished it anyway, but after missing days, i felt like it would have been cheating. The point was to take five consecutive days of meditating on and consciously thinking about the principles, which I failed to do. I picked a bad time to do it, since I was in the process of getting ready to go back to school, so my mind and attention were focused on other things. I don't know if I can even make that excuse - I still could have done them, but it wouldn't have been the way I originally intended. I think that I will have to try it again when I know for sure that I can actually commit to it, because trying to force myself won't end well.

Reiki Challenge, Day 3 - Endeavor With Your Work

This principle is kind of a big one for me, simply because I've been back and forth with whether or not I feel comfortable enough to start teaching Reiki and doing readings again.

As has seemed to be the case since starting this challenge, I had an interesting dream last night that seemed to relate to this principle. Unfortunately, I was really struggling to wake up this morning, so I didn't get a chance to write it down. But what I do remember is being in a supermarket, where a lot of my dreams have taken place recently. The dream then switched to what I believe was a computer lab, and there was some sort of demon or evil person, and I was battling him/it with Reiki. I believe Jay, a friend of mine from Twitter, was there as well, and I was asking him to help me battle the... whatever.

OK, so what does this have to do with my principle for today?

Well, I looked up what supermarkets mean in dreams. Found a lot of answers that didn't seem quite right until I found this one:

Groceries offer an endless and tempting variety of things. To dream of being in a market means you are faced with tough choices, all of which look perfect and inviting. You are shopping not just for material things, but for things that relate to your emotional or social needs. You might be concerned of making the wrong choice in spending your money/attention/energy.


So what particularly caught my attention with this meaning was the variety of things that relate to my emotional or social needs, and being concerned about making the wrong choice in spending my money, attention, and/or energy. I've been debating lately if I want to make journalism my career, completely shutting out Reiki; doing Reiki full-time; combining the two. A friend suggested doing both, doing like a holistic magazine or whatever. My main fear has been that I will choose one over the other, and not be happy with my decision. Obviously, I still have time to think about it, but I feel like I need to make a decision now so I can start preparing for what will happen when two years goes by.

But because of the latter part of my dream, where I am clearly using Reiki (I know because I called it by name), and defeating this evil being (as far as I can tell), I feel like that is a sign telling me that doing Reiki in some form (teaching or just healing) is the way to go. I think the first part, where I am tempted by all the different products in the grocery store (and I think being chased, too, but I addressed that in an earlier post) was a reference to this indecision, but by the end of the dream, it was clear what choice I should make. I don't know, maybe not.

Other than all this dream business, the rest of what I have to say about this principle relates to school and whatever job I (hopefully) get this semester. Keep working hard, keep doing my best, it will all pay off. That's all that I can hope for.

Reiki Challenge, Day 2 - Let Go of Worry

My principle for today was, "Just for today, I will let go of worry."

What a loaded principle this is for me!

I am a worrier by nature. I can't help it. I tend to overanalyze things and think way too much about what could go wrong, sometimes when there is no foreseeable chink in my plans. This has been a constant struggle for me, especially when I'm at school, even though my mother would always tell me, "Worrying won't make it any better, do what you can."

So my messages while meditating and thinking about this principle were to stop worrying so much (duh) and to let the Universe take care of things. This relates perfectly to the Aine card that I pulled from the Goddess Guidance deck earlier today. I need to take that leap of faith and trust that things will work out.

Another message that I got was that I have people - "Heavenly" or celestial and earthly - that are looking out for me and trying to assuage my worries and fears. Of course, sometimes I don't hear or don't listen to what they have to say, but they are there, and they are looking out for my best interests.

I found a lot of good "worry" quotes that I would like to have written down somewhere, so that I can refer to them when necessary. I guess this is as good a place as any, since I live online, anyway.

“Worry is like a rocking chair--it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere.” - Anonymous

“Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.” - Proverb

“Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.” - Arthur Somers Roche

“Worry is spiritual short sight. Its cure is intelligent faith." - Paul Brunton

“If we spend our time with regrets over yesterday, and worries over what might happen tomorrow, we have no today in which to live.” - Anonymous

Reiki Challenge, Day 1 - Letting Go of Anger

The first principle I wanted to meditate on for the Reiki challenge was, "Just for today, I will let go of anger." I sat for a little bit, said the principle to myself, and just listened. What I heard (paraphrasing a bit) was:

Do not be so quick to get angry. Everything happens for a reason, and when something doesn't go your way, there is a reason for that also.
Turn your anger into something productive/constructive. Use that energy for something positive.
When someone hurts or angers you, instead of lashing out, rectify the situation calmly. **Should add "if possible" here. If it can't be rectified, walking away is better than getting upset.**
Let go of the past. Those previous hurts do not define who you are, so why hold on them?
Whenever you get angry, ask yourself. "is this healthy?" If the answer is no, let it go.

I will update this as more things come to me, as I plan to keep this principle in mind for the rest of the day.

Challenge Starts Tomorrow

The Reiki Challenge starts tomorrow! I'm very excited because I think that it can be very insightful for the people who participate. It's such a simple thing, just meditating on a principle, that we could easily fit it into our everyday lives! Just for reference, here are the five Reiki principles. This is one variation, but there are many others. I personally like this one the best:

Just for today, I will let go of anger.
Just for today, I will let go of worry.
Just for today, I will endeavor with my work.
Just for today, I will be grateful for all my blessings.
Just for today, I will be kind to every living thing.

** I was informed that tomorrow is not only a new moon, but there will be a solar eclipse as well. The timing of this challenge couldn't be any better!! **

Reiki Challenge

I had an idea for a sort of "Reiki Challenge" yesterday. It's not to go out and do healings, but is on an individual level. Here's what I had in mind:

Everyday for 5 days, choose one of the 5 Reiki principles. You can do them in whatever order you want.
Meditate on that particular principle for whatever length of time you can, even if it's just 5 or 10 minutes. If you want to meditate on your principle more than once in a day, that's fine.
While meditating, ask for guidance concerning that principle, what lesson you need to learn from it. If it is "do not worry," ask if there is anything that you need to stop worrying about, or ask for answers concerning that issue.
Post your experiences in the comments section to share with others! That's it!

**Post your experiences in the comments section for THIS post, not the posts marked "Day 1, Day 2, etc..." That way, if I don't get to post before you all do, you don't have to wait for me.**